Divorce

Jul
07
2016

jrukaproffheadshot1Hey there Creator,  it’s time to get in your Zone for happiness, fulfillment and to develop the extraordinary life you desire!

We all get stuck in areas of our lives. Sometimes it’s finances, career, relationships and finding love, or all of the above. This is not necessarily a fault of yours, however, it could be an old tape that on an unconscious level has been playing in your head for a long time. Often, this old tape it is not based on facts and more based on feelings that have convinced you into a false perception of yourself. When negative thoughts set in, it leads to negative feelings and disharmony of action in our lives or inaction, hence feeling stuck.

 

According to a decade of science, it has been shown that happier people live longer, handle stress better, earn more money and love what they do, and so can you!! Click below and share your feedback.

 

Listen in on a quick way to get Unstuck and please join my Facebook page for FREE training videos.

Feel free to LIKE US and get in the ZONE for Positivity in life and business, let’s do this!

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Jackie Ruka, “America’s Happyologist,” is a Well-Being expert who skyrockets CEO’s, Leaders, and Women in Business, on how to consciously live stress free by creating mindful systems in life and business. To learn more about Jackie visit her online; Facebook, Twitter  or grab a copy of her best selling book Get Happy and Create a Kick-Butt Life!  

Aug
08
2015

How to be healthier and Happier about Finding LoveIn a recent interview I was asked by a dating coach about Love, Health, Happiness and Finding Love again after a breakup or divorce. Love and happiness go hand in hand, take a peek at the love insights:

A common problem my clients seem to face is deep rooted skepticism and bitterness especially those who have been recently rejected, dumped, cheated and abandoned by a spouse or significant other. They reach a point where they are either burned out or they have completely lost faith that they can ever find the right man or woman and be happy. How can people overcome this negativity and skepticism and cultivate a positive outlook and be hopeful?

If you want to find love in a healthier and happier manner, you must be what you want to attract. Be the change that you seek.

Yes, it is common to feel skepticism about people who disappoint you, know you are not alone in feeling this way. As you navigate the healing process we are often left with unanswered questions, the why’s, the how come’s, the what did I do or say?

I am here to tell you, that you are ENOUGH! And a man/woman certainly does not define you. However, when things don’t work out with someone whether it’s to do with love or any other kind of relationship it usually represents a lack of an agreement(s). Most of us who are not clearly communicating and forming agreements with each other, where both are on the same page, both will have different expectations. Expectations often lead to disappointment. So think about those love relationships and put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a minute, do you recall a conversation about exclusivity with each other, or the word commitment or loyalty? Now, whether he or she shared these words with you or not, what did their actions portray?

If a person does not follow his/her words with actions or simply the actions tell you how they want to be with you, than there is a lack of integrity or incongruence taking place. This may not have to do with you at all, in other words, if a person cannot be honest with themselves, how can they be honest with you? So let’s go a step deeper, what is it about yourself that you are not being honest about? The more you become honest about yourself the more you will recognize and attract a healthy person who also loves them self. Until you are honest about feelings about YOU, you will continue to mirror yourself in another and repeat toxic feel good patterns.

To become happier and healthier start loving yourself more and stop seeking confirmation from external entities. Happiness is an inside job, take some time out for you and enjoy your life and do what you love to do. In most cases, you will meet the right person who loves to do similar things that you do! Be kind to yourself and choose someone who is kind to you, by doing so you must be BELIEVE you deserve happiness, you deserve love and you can start to receive this in return. But you must be open to receive. Start with a new mantra, I believe and I receive mantra ” I believe I am good and I am open to receive all that is good.” A mantra supplies positive energy all day long. The more you think and utilize your new mantra the sooner your life will change because all that occurs is how you respond to it. Change your response, change your attitude about it and recognize there is something far better awaiting for you.

Lastly, it is ok to feel sad, disappointed, anger, we must embrace our feelings in order to understand what happiness is for you. Feel your feelings and know that all feelings are fleeting. Ponder, contemplate, express those feelings in a healthy manner, as this leads you one step closer to a happier you!

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America’s Happyologist, Jackie Ruka, is a transformational leadership mentor for professionals who crave freedom and are ready to discover living life on their terms!  Her mission is to provide a conscious community of inspiration and cooperation where all flourish based on what makes your soul happy. Her mindshifts and techniques are shared in her best selling book “Get Happy and Create a Kick-Butt Life” ! You can learn more about Jackie and what she has to offer by visiting her Facebook page, Twitter or engage in a complimentary discovery session to learn the step by step process for more direction and happiness in your life. book now.

 

Feb
02
2015

reduce stressWhen life takes you over instead of the other way around, it often means it’s a time to heal a personal area  which may have been ignored or brushed under the carpet. It’s perfectly natural to wonder why is this happening to me and why now?  Life has a way of creeping up on you but I am here to say, in my own experience of turmoil, I learned a few lessons and gained more wisdom than I ever thought possible. One of those pearls was the understanding that it was time to stand on my own two feet and charge forward , no hanging out on the sidelines anymore.

Turning your worry into wisdom starts with you and likely in a location that you least expect! In working with a recent client, whose husband decided to leave their marriage for her best friend, she was devastated and became depressed. In order for her to become healthy and strong again was a process in healing. This is so important to hunker down and do some inner work. As they say, your happiness is an inside job but needless to say, losing love in your life is an act of grieving, forgiving and eventually accepting things as they are except with a new perspective. So, together we came up with 4 quick and easy actions to feel good about herself , her life and forming a new direction in life.

1. The Do it Yourself Home Detox – happiness starts at your front door. What I mean by that is, when I met with Alicia, all her old stuff of pictures, memorabilia of her and her husband was hanging around the house. Alicia really wanted to start the year in a whole new positive way. Together we gathered all the old and gave it to Goodwill. Cleaned up the house and did a complete redo of furniture placement, pictures and colors around her house. In addition, we brought out her treasures, quotes and items that provided positivity in her daily life. Your home is your Zen, so have fun making it peaceful and inviting.

2. Heal what Ails you – your body often tells you when something does not feel right, so pay attention. If you are lethargic, not sleeping or eating well it could be a sign of depression or emotional exhaustion. Either way, get a check-up and a B12 shot for a boost of energy. One ailment noticeable about Alicia was on again off again fever and headaches. Often this occurred when she was around particular friends who seemed to use her as a whipping post. her choice in friends required a BIG overhaul. She slowly stopped taking their texts and phone calls and began accepting invitations to new events where she met a wonderful new bunch of caring girlfriends.  Taking care of your body is an act of self-love. And choosing people with integrity and character goes a long way with building new friends and alliances. Alicia not only feels much better but her judgement in choosing what feels right for her has received a nice bump in self-esteem.

3. Get Zen-tered – form a new morning ritual that gets your giddy-up and going. Perhaps this is a favorite cup of tea, some yoga, a brisk walk with your dog or friend before you head to work? What gets you centered? Think about this or try something new with your routine.

4. Positive People Pick Me Up –  it really is positive people in which to surround yourself with in both good and bad times, your true friends love you no matter what! Be around those who provide love and comfort not criticism or debbie downers in your life.

Answer this one question to get you started: When I am  __________________ , I am happy!

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“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka , is a lifestyle strategist who founded the Get Happy Zone (http://www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization. She is author of the #1 bestseller action guide “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Creative Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire,” available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or your favorite book store. Opt-in for Optimism to receive 10 Strategies for how to be Happy, Stress- Free and Successful!

Mar
03
2014

happy coach  While many assume happiness is a derivative of success, studies have proven that isn’t quite the case; that many professionally successful people and those with notable wealth are actually not happy—often quite the opposite. Even more surprising is that what you might perceive as success could actually be hindering your happiness.

 

“As a society we’ve gotten it backwards: it is happiness that leads to success not vice versa,” notes “America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka, lifestyle expert and Founder of the Get Happy Zone (www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization. “Scientific studies actually prove that we are the ambassadors of our own happiness in that we have full control over this enviable state of mind, which is a powerful precursor of success in terms of the true meaning of the word and how it impacts the human experience.”

An array of credentialed psychologists and other respected researchers have studied people around the globe to discern how money, culture, attitude, health, memory, altruism and daily habits affect our well-being. The field of “positive psychology” has, in fact, dug deep and formerly recognized that a person’s thoughts and actions can have a significant effect on their happiness and life fulfillment.

With this in mind, Ruka offers this list of 10 scientifically proven happiness strategies:

  1. Savor ordinary events. Study participants who took the time to do this “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky notes.  Reflecting back on moments of your day, even those you might ordinarily hurry through, is a worthwhile effort.
  2. Avoid comparisons. Focusing on your own personal achievements instead of making comparisons to others will better impact your happiness and self-esteem, according to Lyubomirsky, which leads to greater life satisfaction. It’s easy to lose sight of what achievements—both personal and professional—have enriched our life, and we must remind ourselves…often.
  3. Put money low on the list. According to researchers Kasser and Ryan, those who put money high on their priority list are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. “Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization,” Ryan says.
  4. Have meaningful goals. As humans, we thrive on having a purpose, but what is purpose if there is no meaning behind it? “People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far more happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” father and son team Diener and Biswas-Diener found. Positive psychology authority Tal Ben-Shahar agrees, having stated “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”
  5. Take initiative at work. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that, “when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.”
  6. Make friends and treasure family. This may seem like a no-brainer, but we need relationships. Sometimes we underestimate the importance of such connections. And, the more genuine the better as Diener and Biswas-Diener notes, “We don’t just need relationships; we need close ones that involve caring and understanding.”
  7. Fake it until you make it.  This actually works, according to Diener and Biswas-Diener, who assert, “Happy people see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points.” This may take some practice, so try to smile even when you don’t feel like it.
  8. Keep a gratitude journal. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you can either become a time bomb waiting to go off or you can recalibrate. An excellent tool for detoxing and redirecting your thoughts is with a gratitude journal. Those who write in a journal on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to achieve personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. Martin Seligman’s research also revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone significant in their lives score lower on depression and higher on happiness and the effect lasts for weeks. Gratitude and the human spirit together make powerful allies.
  9. Get moving. According to a Duke University study, exercise may be as effective as drugs in treating even major depression. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel good hormone. Duke researcher Blumenthal suggested that “exercise may be beneficial because patients are actually taking an active role in trying to get better…patients who exercised may have felt a greater sense of mastery over their condition and gained a greater sense of accomplishment. They felt more self-confident and had better self-esteem…” When you feel good, you tend to continue the behavior related to it and are motivated to adopt others.
  10. Serve others. This is often referred to as a “helper’s high.” According to ethicist and researcher Stephen Post, helping a neighbor, volunteering, and donating goods and services results in more health benefits than exercising or quitting smoking.  Researcher Elizabeth Dunn similarly found that those who spent money on others reported greater happiness than those who spent it on themselves.

 

Ruka concludes, “With so much science underscoring that we are active participants in the process, I prefer to regard happiness as a verb. Indeed, navigating happiness is a journey filled with a series of actions…it’s not an outcome. No matter the circumstance, we all have the capacity to be happy. The only question is what next step will you take to foster your own?”

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“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka is a lifestyle expert who founded the Get Happy Zone (www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization.  She is also the author of the action guide, “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire.” Contact Jackie and take her Fearless Quiz online at www.tinyurl.com/HappinessQuiz.

 

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Sources:

Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, Marint E.P. Seligman Phd, Simon and Schuster, 2002

The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Penguin Press, 2008

Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener, Blackwell Publishing Ltd, 2008

Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, Tal Ben-Shahar, McGraw-Hill, 2007

Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Robert Emmons, Houghton Mifflin Company, 2007

Babyak, M. A., Blumenthal, J. A., Herman, S., Khatri, P., Doraiswamy, P. M., Moore, K. A., Craighead, W. E., Baldewicz, T. T., & Krishnan, K. R. (2000). Exercise treatment for major depression: Maintenance of therapeutic benefit at 10 months. Psychosomatic Medicine, Vol. 62. pp. 633-638.

http://www.dukehealth.org/health_library/news/300

 

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