fall in love

Aug
08
2015

How to be healthier and Happier about Finding LoveIn a recent interview I was asked by a dating coach about Love, Health, Happiness and Finding Love again after a breakup or divorce. Love and happiness go hand in hand, take a peek at the love insights:

A common problem my clients seem to face is deep rooted skepticism and bitterness especially those who have been recently rejected, dumped, cheated and abandoned by a spouse or significant other. They reach a point where they are either burned out or they have completely lost faith that they can ever find the right man or woman and be happy. How can people overcome this negativity and skepticism and cultivate a positive outlook and be hopeful?

If you want to find love in a healthier and happier manner, you must be what you want to attract. Be the change that you seek.

Yes, it is common to feel skepticism about people who disappoint you, know you are not alone in feeling this way. As you navigate the healing process we are often left with unanswered questions, the why’s, the how come’s, the what did I do or say?

I am here to tell you, that you are ENOUGH! And a man/woman certainly does not define you. However, when things don’t work out with someone whether it’s to do with love or any other kind of relationship it usually represents a lack of an agreement(s). Most of us who are not clearly communicating and forming agreements with each other, where both are on the same page, both will have different expectations. Expectations often lead to disappointment. So think about those love relationships and put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a minute, do you recall a conversation about exclusivity with each other, or the word commitment or loyalty? Now, whether he or she shared these words with you or not, what did their actions portray?

If a person does not follow his/her words with actions or simply the actions tell you how they want to be with you, than there is a lack of integrity or incongruence taking place. This may not have to do with you at all, in other words, if a person cannot be honest with themselves, how can they be honest with you? So let’s go a step deeper, what is it about yourself that you are not being honest about? The more you become honest about yourself the more you will recognize and attract a healthy person who also loves them self. Until you are honest about feelings about YOU, you will continue to mirror yourself in another and repeat toxic feel good patterns.

To become happier and healthier start loving yourself more and stop seeking confirmation from external entities. Happiness is an inside job, take some time out for you and enjoy your life and do what you love to do. In most cases, you will meet the right person who loves to do similar things that you do! Be kind to yourself and choose someone who is kind to you, by doing so you must be BELIEVE you deserve happiness, you deserve love and you can start to receive this in return. But you must be open to receive. Start with a new mantra, I believe and I receive mantra ” I believe I am good and I am open to receive all that is good.” A mantra supplies positive energy all day long. The more you think and utilize your new mantra the sooner your life will change because all that occurs is how you respond to it. Change your response, change your attitude about it and recognize there is something far better awaiting for you.

Lastly, it is ok to feel sad, disappointed, anger, we must embrace our feelings in order to understand what happiness is for you. Feel your feelings and know that all feelings are fleeting. Ponder, contemplate, express those feelings in a healthy manner, as this leads you one step closer to a happier you!

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America’s Happyologist, Jackie Ruka, is a transformational leadership mentor for professionals who crave freedom and are ready to discover living life on their terms!  Her mission is to provide a conscious community of inspiration and cooperation where all flourish based on what makes your soul happy. Her mindshifts and techniques are shared in her best selling book “Get Happy and Create a Kick-Butt Life” ! You can learn more about Jackie and what she has to offer by visiting her Facebook page, Twitter or engage in a complimentary discovery session to learn the step by step process for more direction and happiness in your life. book now.

 

Feb
02
2013

Valentines Day is coming, like it or not and your inner GPS may have you  taking a U-turn! If you’re newly single, divorced or unhappily married, the week of  love could be a cause to celebrate ! Here’s why;  A lull in the romance department sometimes signifies a time to take advantage of your alone time and cherish YOU! In most cases, when you are whole, you attract a whole mate in return, one where you are not willing to settle for anything and both are being true to yourselves and each other. Being true to you may require a change of direction within the inner GPS. What felt like “home” may actually be a subconscious maneuver toward finding resolution from the absence of a parents love, abandonment or a “not good enough” criticism of days past.  We want to be loved and deserve it, no doubt, however, what you believe is love to you may be a pedestal of what you choose to see rather than what is. No one is perfect and there is no perfect love but what I know for sure is love feels good and right when it comes from an unconditional place from both parties. If you can practice unconditional love with self than your halfway there.

A few prerequisites to unconditional love may include the following:

– Unpattern your “feel good” patterns. For example, it may feel good to gain attention from potential conquests, screw around or lead another on, just be prepared for your karma to catch up with you if your intentions are not all about you. If you crave attention and are unhappy being alone it is a sign of  low self – esteem and perhaps a deep insecurity. Chelax, buttercup, everything is temporary , indulge in the quick read, The Four Agreements by Don Ruiz Miguel, it may be just the therapy you need.

– STOP choosing the same type of mate and start acting like the mate you desire. Throw out your list and get down to the business of what matters most, than go be it! If you desire an honest, kind, sweet, funny person, than exude and embody this yourself, you will get twice as far.

– If you continue to face obstacles to love, it is  sign that the lesson is not over yet. Look deeper as to what the lessons may mean and pay attention, you may only require a tweak here and there to get on the same path as your twin – flame. ( soul mates who bring out the best in each other and enhance each others lives, naturally in- sync without force)

So what is the cardinal action for that inner GPS  destination of unconditional love? KINDNESS! be kind to self, be kind to others, be kind to strangers, be kind to nature. Kindness is a gentle form of slowly opening your heart.  No one can learn or care about you with the stone wall you have built around yourself. The opposite of love is fear. It is natural to want to protect our hearts when hurt, however, there comes a time to let go of your pain. The longer you hang on to the stone wall  the longer you believe you deserve to be punished and will then attract it on an unconscious level. Change your thought pattern, Louise Hay offers a great affirmation to release pain in her book, You can Heal your Life. “I lovingly release the past. They are free and I am free. All is well in my heart now.”

In my world, everyday is Valentine’s Day! With that said, treat yourself to a bubble bath, glass of wine, dinner with friends, a good movie or book or that well needed retreat. Enjoy and be open to receive the love that the Universe has to send to you!

“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka is a lifestyle expert who founded the Get Happy Zone (www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization. And Author of the #1 best seller “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire.” Contact Jackie for a free session at Get Happy Zone!

 

 

Feb
02
2013

To fall in love with your life is less about dreaming and more about taking  action!

A few steps to start taking action has nothing to do with a roadmap but more to do with your inner GPS. Yes, we all have an inner GPS or intuitive calling that bookmarks our soul for our vocational destiny and life’s mission. However, during complex times this may be an accomplishment that seems unclear or overwhelming. To learn the steps to clarity for unveiling your inner GPS and living the life of your dreams, please join me as I am interviewed to share the tools and tips with reaching your inner treasures.

Register for the FREE teleseminar: REGISTER

 

“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka is a lifestyle expert who founded the Get Happy Zone (www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization. She is also the author of the soon-to-be-released book, “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire.” Contact Jackie and take her Become Fearless Quiz online at www.tinyurl.com/HappinessQuiz.

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