How to accept what IS, in order to grow is about you being able come to terms with, not only what IS but what can be, a fulfilling life  moving forward.

I had an epiphany this past weekend, right around my birthday. I love how birthdays culminate  years prior, of  lessons and blessings, that add to the wisdom we thought we already knew, huh! Anyway, I digress. My old paradigm was holding onto former ideas and expectations of  how I expected a certain someone to extend a  ” Happy Birthday.”  After all, it is MY day, right? Should’t everyone  drop their lives to send a card, call, text, email or flowers, I should think so! Boy, did my ego deflate when the one special person, who I expected to send me good wishes, not only forget but he sent me a link to wrinkle creme in a random email. I laugh now, but not so funny to my sensitive ego at the time.

One of the major steps to gaining acceptance  is recognizing that it’s what we are hanging on to that stops us from accepting. I was  hanging on to a perception of something or someone in my mind, predominantly boyfriend’s past, to present day. My  illusion of a pedestal of expectations  harbored,  came crashing in and polluted my “happy” day , at least I allowed this to happen. Seems our past comes rushing back and informs us of the unhappy or resentful feelings still lurking in the crevices of our souls. So, why was I hanging on to old memories? They were unhappy and not really serving me, so why I asked myself ? Does one person and what they do define who I am , absolutely NOT! Does one occurrence have to be considered good or bad, can I just be neutral and not judge? Can something be happening in another’s life and I simply do not know about it, or what they might be going through at the time? Can one moment of forgetfulness be the start of  a pattern or perhaps it just IS, a sign of their character. Either way, detoxing my bad feelings and stopping the thought process clarified that it is not about me. What is about me is to always be moving forward and cherishing my own personal desires and goals.

Feeling important and loved by others can feel good , however, accepting and loving myself is much more important and healthy. Expecting others to make me feel good or love me is setting myself up for disappointment.When I fully accept me for me and recognize I AM the STAR of my own life, then what others do, say, or struggle with is no longer a reflection of me, it’s a by product of past thoughts and projections that are sour grapes. Accepting you is a major leap in your growth!

Time to throw out the sour grapes and continue to celebrate life, as any loss you have experienced may be an actual gain. A gain of clarity to move toward your higher self and  remember what to be grateful for. The loss or hurts of the past are stepping stones to your light to shine bright  and celebrate YOU!

Mantra: I am the STAR of my life and create what I desire right now.

Need a Life Lift? Jackie Ruka’s signature blend of advice, wisdom and inspiration can help you create an authentic, empowered life! Learn more.

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“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka is a lifestyle expert and inspiration coach for women who founded the Get Happy Zone (www.gethappyzone.com) personal development organization. She is also the author of the soon-to-be-released book, “Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, a Toolbox for Rapidly Activating the Life You Desire.” Contact Jackie and take her Become Fearless Quiz online at www.tinyurl.com/HappinessQuiz.



  1. Calla Gold says:

    The concept that I am the star of my life is a powerful one and one that leads to personal happiness.
    Having experienced the self-editing and self criticism earlier in my life and moving to a self comfortable with who I am and happy with my wins I find this post to be extremely right on!

  2. admin says:

    Call, so powerful to learn about your transformation. Self- criticism is hard to rid but certainly achievable with practice, support and ofcourse knowing you are the Star of your life! Love, Jackie

  3. Lisa Darsonval says:

    Being an innocent bystander as your birthday unfolded, I am so glad to read your words. I’m proud you recognized you have the power to not let others actions (or lack of in this case) bring you down. You live by your words and I think we made those sour grapes into wine…with bubbles because bubbles make everything better. Happy Birthday.

  4. KymberlyFunFit says:

    Unrelated to your post above, but I love your tagline about opting in for optimism! Fun and perfect word play.

  5. Dr. Lynn K. Jones says:

    Oh my goodness. Wrinkle cream! Touching. 🙂 Expectations often are huge barriers to joy and happiness. Great reminders, Jackie.

  6. Kristi Wrightson says:

    I loved this post! This was especially nice for me to read today as I’m making big efforts to move forward in my life. A good reminder that holding on to the past can hold us back from really making those big steps forward. Thank you!

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